10 Flaws Scream: The TV Series Needs To Dispose Of If It Wants To Survive The Sequel

When MTV announced that it was making a television series spin-off of the Scream franchise, many fans were excited to see the return of their beloved horror icon, Sydney Prescott as well as Ghostface. However, this never happened as MTV wanted to make it’s own loose adaptation of the movies that had entirely new characters and a new location. Sayonara Woodsboro, hello Lakewood (no resemblance there.) Unfortunately, when the show finally premiered, many of the original fans and critics were severely disappointed. While the show attracted a newer, much younger audience, the were all sorts of flaws that caused the shows already low ratings to plummet even further. Yet somehow Scream: The TV Series was renewed for a second season. In the words of Scream fan favorite Randy Meeks, “There’s a formula to it. A very simple formula!” And if Scream: The TV Series is going to survive the sequel, there are a few certain flaws it needs to give the ax to.

1.Pretentious Violin Music

Who composed the score of this show? Yo Yo Ma? I feel like I’m in a high class art gallery instead of watching a horror tv show. The only horror tv show that can get away with using pretentious violin music is Bates Motel because it’s a show based off of Alfred Hitchcock.  

 

  1. All The Music Actually

Seriously, what the fuck is it with the music of this show? It’s like the creators of the show were browsing through some basic teen girls Spotify playlist and were like “let’s put this in our show because white girls.” Is this supposed to be horror tv show, because it certainly doesn’t sound like it.

 

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Dear lord, it’s even worse than we thought!

 

  1. Social-media References

There are so many references to Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat ect. You would almost expect this show to have been written by Hillary Clinton. We get it, young people are shallow beyond repair and cannot live without technology. Easy there Grandma!

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  1. Bad Dialogue

To quote a famous playwright “Action walks, bullshit talks.” This show’s character spend way too much time telling viewers  what a horror show is supposed to look like rather than taking it’s own advice. Some of the line’s in this show are so awful

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Seriously, stop!

5.Being Cliched

The point of Scream was to subvert the cliches of the horror genre not become one. There is nothing fresh or inspired about this new installment to the Scream franchise other than it being a tv show. One of the worst mistakes in the horror genre is even made by episode 3… killing the “token minority.” Isn’t the point of the Scream franchise to subvert cliches? Guess not. Scream: The TV Series serves as poor remake of the original movie that just drags on forever.

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6.Basic Romance Drama

It wouldn’t be an MTV series without your basic romance drama.  At the beginning of the series Emma finds out her true love Will had slept with their best friend Nina (a month after their freaking breakup. So Emma decides her life is over because her boyfriend is a scumbag. So I guess you could say their breakup was a little messy afterwards and that’s what you missed last time on Glee!  Scream the Tv Series feels like a rehash of Dawson’s Creek or Degrassi what with all this on/off relationship bullshit. We’ve been down this road before and if you watch MTV’s Awkward, you’ve been down this road one…two…err eleven… fuck it I lost count. Hopefully MTV can ditch the typical romance plots and stick to horror because some of us are not as Noah would say “all watching the zombie show to see if the hick and the housewife sleep together.”

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  1. Rich Kid Problems

Yes, because rich white kids are such relatable characters in today’s generation. Why not have a plot where a character blames affluenza on their killing spree. If this show was any more basic it would be an Oprah Chai Latte from Starbucks. I have trouble feeling sympathy for characters who live in celebrity mansions and post harmful videos of their friends all over the internet.

 

8.Monologues

Most episodes will feature at least one scene in which geek boy Noah (aka New Randy) turns to the camera to tell the audience everything they already know. This is like subtitles for stupid people who can’t understand an already basic plot.

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  1. Stupidity

Example: Episode 7, Brooke: Oh you have a knife in your chest? Here let me pull it out without considering the fact that I could accidentally cut something important like an artery or your heart.

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  1. DAISY!

If the actress who plays Emma’s mother were anymore bland, she would be cauliflower or Elle Fanning in Maleficent. She’s supposed to be the former love interest of a deceased serial killer so the least she could do is have some facial expression when she receives a heart in the mail.

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Will Scream: The TV Series do better in its second season? Watch MTV this Monday at 11 PM EST.

A Ghost Story From The Moonlit Road: Knock, Knock, Who’s There?

Check out this deliciously creepy/ awesome Cajun ghost story about a miserly father whose cruelty to his only daughter comes back to haunt him during a gulf storm.

Find more of these awesome ghost stories at:

http://themoonlitroad.com/

via Knock, Knock, Who’s There?.

 

American Horror Story: Blood Camp (My fantasy American Horror Season)

My idea for an American Horror Story season. NOTE: THIS IS NOT REAL (Although I wish it was)

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This is my dream American Horror Story Season Scenario. This is not a real season.

Premise:Set in the year 1985, American Horror Story: Blood Camp takes place in  eerie upstate New York at Camp Manitoba. Camp Manitoba is a camp where pampered teens are sent to by their wealthy parents to keep them out of trouble. This is no ordinary summer camp because deep in its woods lurks a dangerous Native American demon-spirit known as the Wendigo, summoned by a local tribe who recently had their land foreclosed upon by the Camps owners.

Characters

Marianne Greeley/ Chuck Greeley (Sarah Paulson and Corey Feldman): Camp Manitoba’s eccentric camp owners and directors.

Christopher (Evan Peters): The Head Counselor who is overly obsessed with survival and fitness. At night he wanders off into the woods alone due to a “medical condition”. He has been coming to the camp since he was 8. His father runs a multi-million dollar company

Jessica/Tina (Emma Roberts): Assistant Head Counselor, she is a  goody two-shoes girl with an evil twin personality named Tina. Tina was actually her twin sister who died a mysterious accident when they were 9.

Amber (Taissa Farmiga): A shy awkward quiet counselor who got the job because she is a distant cousin of Marrianne’s, although Marrianne has no clue as to how related they actually are.

Andrea(Gabourey Sidibe): A very smart counselor from Florida. She is a Psychology Major who is trying to make a little extra money towards her tuition, she is also the one person who is really aware of her surroundings.

Candice (Bailee Madison): A camper who is far superior for her age. Her grandfather is the leader of a deranged cult.

The White Lady (Lily Rabe) A mysterious figure seeking revenge against the person who murdered her daughter.

Jackie  Mayfield (Angela Bassett) A prominent  Realtor of area.  She helped expand the Camp and she desires to expand it further.

Aponi Dawson (Julia Jones)  She lives in a house off the lake. Her ancestors once inhabited the woods until their land was taken away from them.

The Jennings Family: A family of trailer dwellers who love to hunt and eat… people.

Ryan Jennings (Craig T. Nelson) A successful and recently retired farmer/organ dealer.

Mary Lou Jennings (Kathy Bates) The ruler of the family, she makes all the important decisions and a mean Chili con Carne.

Deena Jennings (Chloë Grace Moretz) Adopted Daughter of Ryan and Mary Lou.

Abner Jennings (Max Thieriot) Son of Ryan and Mary, he brings the meat and disposes of the evidence.

Tut Jennings (Atticus Shaffer) The mute son of Ryan and Mary, secretly a vegetarian.